Author's note:
Dedicated to my stepmother and friend. Who left us last year. I did hold on to this on purpose as I was pretty raw when I wrote it.
EVA
I met you and hated your playful beauty.
Sitting in my father’s lap resenting his sunshine warming your bright sky-like eyes.
The rays of his smile bouncing off your dark curls in flittering flashes of fire.
You wanted to fix my hair- and I would rather have gone bald.
Now, what I would not give to have you give me that poodle perm one more time.
I watched you laugh, I watched you cry…I watched you look at those two children you suddenly had enter your life with befuddled amazement.
Your young life had been dark and marred by horrible shadows.
Of course, I was too young to comprehend then-
Too innocent to know why my father embracing his two children in his lap
Caused you to turn and hide a fear I never had to know.
The love I felt for you grew unnoticed. As you danced with me,
Sang with me,
Styled my Barbie’s hair for hours on end with me.
The birth of a second family, a second home.
Safety and love taken for granted…
Days at the pool, days hiking, days listening to music, or playing cards.
I grew up and you were there as a friend.
When I left, how could I have known the explosion that would leave everything in shards
Was looming in the grey thunderous clouds?
You danced at my wedding – then the bell tolled and your life took a sharp turn.
Time raced by…what a weak, cowardly excuse for allowing people to slip from our grasp, if not our hearts.
Now, having been told you chose to wake up in another world, on a safer shore,
Memories pour like rain, flooding the screen of my mind with pearls and pellets.
I hope you woke to blissful sunshine in a place that will treat you with gentle appreciation.
And I wish that you will know with that unfailing understanding lacking in our current, shackled form,
That a piece of my heart went with you.
